The biggest (and most common) mindset mistake you can make that can cost you everything (learn how you can avoid it)

Does this sound familiar? You’ve been working hard on a project that you’re really proud of, out of the blue you get feedback from a  co-worker about what you could have done different and better. You immediately get defensive making your co-workers criticism about you… You end up feeling deflated, maybe even a little pissed at your co-worker and unmotivated. 

You’re not alone if you answered yes. Today’s little “nugget of wisdom” is brought to you by a major breakthrough that many of my group coaching clients in my last Rise with Resiliency program walked away with. Ready? Let’s dive in. 

How do you answer when someone asks you what you do? Do you respond with “I’m a __________”? 

Or, “I do _____________ for work”, or “I work with _________”. 

Most people respond with “I’m a __________”. So, why is this important and relevant? Six simple words… You are not what you do.

Where this type of response and mindset can end up being dangerous is if you start to merge your identity (i.e. who you are) with what you do. Why is this a potentially dangerous mindset? 

If someone gives you tough feedback, if you get laid off, if your work is criticized or if you lose your business it’s easier to interpret these non personal situations as a reflection of who you are… which in the end can be a huge roadblock to your success. You end up believing things about yourself that are not true. 

As a result, you can start to lose your motivation and drive. You can start to feel resentful towards your business or the people you work with. You can start to interpret who you are as something you aren’t like “not good enough” or “like a failure”. 

None of these things are true my friend, so let’s change this potentially success sabotaging mindset. 

This is the number one mindset mistake I see with my coaching clients (I’m no stranger to it either but practice over perfection) and I’m excited to share with you how to avoid or overcome it. 

In my group coaching program, Rise with Resiliency (which is launching again this September, check it out here!) a student who owns a small service based business overcame this mindset that has freed her from so much unnecessary anxiety and stress. Prior to doing the work in our coaching program, when she received feedback from a client it would spiral her into feelings of guilt which drove her into overcompensating, over giving, leading her to burn out. When she started to do the work to separate herself from what she does, she was able to handle feedback constructively and in turn find the passion back in her work. 

Once you clearly separate who you are from what you do, you can take others feedback, criticism or see obstacles from an objective perspective. It’s in this mindset where you take the power back, using criticism as a way to fuel your fire to be your most successful self rather than letting it burn you down and out.

If you found today’s “nugget of wisdom” helpful, get more mindset hacks like this in my upcoming group coaching program, Rise with Resiliency, visit the course page here! 

Bye for now! 

Mallory