Confession time| Let’s talk about boundary busting behavior and how this badass business owner changed her boundary game that changed her business
Do you ever say yes to something someone asks you to do only to find yourself muttering resentfully in your mind “why the hell did I say yes to this?”. If you’re reading this, I know that time and energy are already two of your biggest “roadblocks” to your goals. As is with almost 100% of my clients. So why the hell are you giving your time and energy (that’s running a deficit) to sh*t you don’t want to do?! Read more and learn how you can stop bending your boundaries for others needs.
Terri Cole, a boundary expert and Psychotherapist described unhealthy boundaries best. She described not having healthy boundaries in place is like having an “open” sign on your door to your house with an invitation to any person at any time just to come on in and make themselves at home. That would be AWEFUL. Think of a life of constantly catering to everyone else, trying to meet everyones needs, of having no time to yourself, of having no control over your schedule…. hmmmm wait is this sounding familiar?
One of my graduates from my group coaching course, Rise with Resiliency (RWR) had a tough go at implementing time and energy boundaries in her business before joining RWR. She struggled with how much “time” she was overgiving to her clients and her business and how much “time” she undergiving to her family.
Family, being one of her top core values, was incredibly important to her. The reason she got into business in the first place was to have more freedom and flexibility to actually spend more time and energy with her family, but the opposite was happening. She was torn, finding herself up until 11:00 pm most nights working on her business rather than spending quality time with her family. She started feeling incredibly frustrated, deflated and exhausted.
This badass business owner did the work in our boundary module in RWR and turned her relationship with her business, clients and her family completely around. You first have to understand the deeper, underlying why behind this inherent knee jerk reaction of saying yes to everything. Then, once you have the why behind the behavior, you’re ready to take action and figure out how to implement healthy boundaries.
With healthy boundaries, comes an optimal mindset which leads to your ultimate definition of success. Take it from Kristine, our recent RWR grad:
“Operating at your best and optimal mindset results in increased motivation, productivity and profitability, which ultimately leads to joy and satisfaction in life. And let's be honest, isn't that what we all want?”
A good starting place, is to:
Remember to say yes because you want to, not because you “have to” or “should”. Do it with joy, passion and excitement.
Don’t say yes with the expectation of you’ll get some sort of a return.
When you do say yes, and you feel regretful or resentful after, ask yourself why you felt obligated to say yes in the first place. Is it out of the need to “fit in”, to “feel relevant”, to avoid “disappointing someone”, the list goes on.
There are still a few spots left in the upcoming Rise with Resiliency group coaching course I’m offering and I’d love to support you in building healthier boundaries in your professional and personal life. Read more and reserve your spot before they run out, visit the course page here! ! Course starts September 10th!
Where do you want to invite healthy boundaries in your life?
Choose one action that you can literally put into place immediately that will break your boundary busting habits like being a “yes man or woman”.
Until next time!