At the root of it all, we all strive to achieve this feeling of Liberation. Freedom. Limitlessness. Whatever your goals are, they all in some way reflect or lead to this notion. In my years of experience as a counsellor in the justice system, in corporate leadership development, to working with the general population in fitness and mindset coaching the common desired outcome= Liberation. We seek all of the self help in the world to set ourselves free from what we think is holding us back in our lives. We might perceive our weight, an addiction, lack of motivation, distractions, finances, toxic relationships, stagnant careers, the list goes on.... as being the key factor in why we feel trapped in our lives.
What if we stopped trying to set ourselves free from everything and everyone else and focused on our internal freedom and liberation? My life coach Gaynor, from Junction 180 shared a very valuable lesson about 4 years ago. The only person you can trust, rely on and love 100% is yourself. You cannot look to external sources to fill these components up in your life.
At that moment I quickly realized how much external validation I was seeking. At that time food was definitely a big "release" or "escape" for me. When I felt like I was being cornered I would find anything and I mean anything that had some form of sugar or carbohydrate in it and binge. Instead of setting myself free from the self constricting thoughts I would reach for the bottle of maple sugar and a bar of bakers chocolate...
As the sole business owner of a boutique fitness studio from 2014-2017 I was responsible for 20-30 staff, had a huge amount of overhead to manage each month all in an ultra competitive landscape that was fuelled by the vanity of how good you look in a sports bra. The lack of control I felt in my external world definitely led me to feeling even more out of control internally which then led me to seek comfort from external sources. It was a vicious circle.
It really wasn't until about a year ago that I finally started to take what my life coach shared with me seriously. I started to really work on loving who I am, what light I can bring to the world, what change I can make. That I can trust and rely on myself 100% no matter what happens. I was in the art of practicing being unfuckwithable.
This exercise and practice of just owning who I am and trusting myself is what has gotten me through what has definitely been the most trying year I've experienced in my life. My husband and I have worked through job loss, entering a new career, a death in the family, moving, experiencing extreme financial stress, to most recently having to sell my business. Without being able to love, trust and rely on myself and recognizing what I'm capable of, this year could have ruined me and potentially us. Is it hard? Fuck yes. Do I have any regrets or moments that I wish it didn't happen? Of course not. The practice is worth it because you are.
As someone who has been in the industry of helping others unlock their potential... the lesson today is to put your self help book down, close down your instagram motivational quote of the day and look inside yourself and ask: "can I set myself free by simply choosing to love myself, trust and rely on who I am to get me through this?". Own it. Be unfuckwithable. Set yourself free.
Until next time,