"Joy is what happens when you connect with your soul"- Danielle Laporte, White ?Hot Truth. For as long as I have been alive, I don't think I really differentiated the two emotions of "joy" and "happiness". In many instances I think we would define the two to be the same. I can honestly say there is a BIG difference, one that will move and shake you, charge you up beyond what you thought possible and leave you in a state of euphoria. The other emotion, happiness is warm and fuzzy but doesn't have the impact that joy does.

Before I left for Nicaragua (about 18 days after I sold Studio Revolution Fitness), I paid a visit to a place called "Aloha Wellness". I am sure you can guess why I was drawn to this business given I am 100% positive I was supposed to be born in Hawaii but somehow ended up here!

Anywho, I decided to commit myself to an hour reading in hopes that I would have some gigantic breakthrough. I wouldn't have described myself as someone who was open to or easily connected to my "spiritual side". I am fairly scientific based, logical and at times over analytical. This concept doing a reading was definitely a stretch for me. When we are in a state of chaos and extreme discomfort the first thing we do is reach out instead of reach in. I needed to have someone validate what I'm going through and then finish with telling me I'm moving to a sunny tropical destination. I was grasping at straws to get a glimpse of hope that I'll be okay in the midst of this uncomfortable transition. Note, never go into a reading trying to control the outcome or have an expectation of what should be said. Being an entrepreneur we love to control outcomes and predict what is about to unfold. It's a tough practice letting go of that teacher/leader/boss/giver mentality and be the student/observer/receiver.

The session wrapped up with the healer telling me I simply needed to shut up and listen to what my soul is trying to say and let go of control. "Hear your soul for the first time" she says. "From there you will create something that will collectively heal the world". My first response was, how the hell do you do that? My logic and analytical brain immediately kicked in. I am certain I have never recognized the difference between being a physical self and a spiritual self. This kind of mission seemed like something that was completely unattainable and intangible. I left the reading feeling almost a sense of frustration and helplessness.

Off to Nicaragua I go, just try to be the student, the observer and be open to receive whatever you are intended to (after I'm done hosting my retreat of course!).

It's amazing what the sun, surf, sand and the people you connect with can do for mental clarity. On my very last night in Nicaragua, I met with an amazing woman at Aqua Wellness who agreed to do an hour of reiki and massage. I was feeling pretty tight after 12 straight days of surfing and my neck needed some love. Well I got a whole lot more out of the session than just a good neck massage. Having never experienced Reiki, I had no clue what to expect. I walked into the open aired room overlooking the ocean with the full moonlight bouncing off the water telling myself to be open, receive, be present, be the observer.

I came out of our session feeling an overwhelming sense of euphoria, of release, of trust in knowing that I am who I am and I am exactly where I need to be. I've never felt that kind of charge running through my body and that deep sense of joy. That experience, which was totally out of my normal practice and comfort zone led me on a journey of facing my darkest side then being able to let go of what was holding me hostage in life. I finally felt a deeper connection within, I believe I connected to my soul for the first time.

Returning back to Calgary I have managed to harness this concept of Joy, this connection within. Of course I am deeply missing the waves and scenery of the tropical paradise. However, I am incredibly comfortable knowing that I have gone through the worst of the worst because I can handle it. I am confident that all of the loss that occurred over the last year is just part of the story that I am excited to share to collectively raise the good in the world. I am at peace knowing that my evolution will continue to make waves in the world. I know that feelings of uncertainty and the unknown are just invitations to explore what is truly possible.

Wherever you feel like you are being held hostage in your life, restricted or blocked let go of the urge to control the situation and open up your mind and heart to what is possible. Can you trust that you can handle what is being dished your way? Can you connect into your deeper self and find joy?  Are you willing to explore and be the observer and the student in your life? Absolutely you can, it all starts with being open and vulnerable.

Until next time!