Three steps to take charge and cultivate the life you want


What a crazy week, it's hard to believe I have only been back from my travels through Portugal and Iceland for just over a week now! It feels like a month has come and gone in just less than 10 days. I returned home and was called into get the results from some testing I had done before I left. Without going into deep personal detail, let's just say this was an eye opening week. First off, I am fine and will be fine. The news is not life threatening in the slightest, but will certainly change the way I currently live my life today.

I have yet again been challenged with the decision to take a step back and choose to be the student/observer in the situation versus the typical me who tries to control everything and be the teacher.

There is a lot and I mean a lot that I learned from all of my testing results. All in which I am incredibly grateful for as now I have answers instead of guesses as to what could be going on. The downer was the fact that despite living and practicing a healthy lifestyle of managing stress, sleeping well, eating well, moving my body and doing what I love to do, sometimes life just has a different direction for you.

I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason and so here we are. For one, this is a great challenge in life that will ultimately help me grow in my own self development practice, and secondly, so I can hopefully empower YOU to take charge of your life even when life's curveballs inevitably will happen.

So here are 3 steps that I have started to focus on this week that might serve you in your life:


Adapt how you internalize things, your reactions and how you move through challenges without the need to control the uncontrollable. I've said it once and I'll say it again, there is a lot we cannot control in our lives but we need to learn to shift and adapt our focus from what we can't control to what we can.

  1. Look at how you are currently internalizing situations/others behaviours/events/news or anything you can't control. Where can you adapt and shift your mindset in how you internalize the uncontrollable to reduce your stress response?
  2. Look at how you react to situations/others behaviours/events/news or anything you can't control. Is your reaction angry, are you resentful, are you guilty, ashamed, sad? Is your reaction "appropriate", or does that need to change? Is your reaction consuming your life? If it is, you need to make a shift.
  3. Adapt how you can move through these challenges or things you can't control differently.


Balance and alignment through practicing personal boundaries. We are the co-creators of our own reality. Our upbringing, external influences, relationships, genetic makeup, past events or traumas, learned responses/behaviours all impact how we perceive our reality and feel in and out of alignment. I want you to remember that you still have a say and choice to an extent to make choices that can improve your perception of your reality. To help you feel more aligned, to help you feel balanced.

Today, I empower you to find balance and alignment by establishing personal boundaries to create your new reality.

  1. What current boundaries do you have in place that allow you to focus on you and what you need?
  2. What boundaries are you consistently letting go of? Why?
  3. What needs to shift so you can practice these boundaries to ultimately achieve better balance and alignment in your life?


Cultivate action and energy towards what you want to empower in your life instead of focusing on what's not working in your life. It's important to acknowledge what's not working but ensure you are focusing on cultivating the life you want, not the opposite.

Make a list with two columns. Label one as "what's working" and the other that is labeled as "what's not working" in your life. If there are things in the column of "what's not working" that you can change, mark and "C" beside it and work on it. Each morning, review the list of "what's working" and practice gratitude and appreciate what you have and what you are doing.

There you have it! Just like when we were kids practicing the alphabet, let's practice the ABC's of cultivating the life you want despite the inevitable curveballs.

P.S: I cannot WAIT to Practice more mindset lessons like this with you in our new content that is in development for my online wellness program called The Practice. Start your month free trial now and expand your mindset and your fitness today!

P.P.S: I will be announcing some exciting news for our SRF Vacations retreat that will be coming soon! With three group coaching sessions on the retreat, plus all sorts of adventure, fitness, great food, surf, connecting with like minded people and so much more, this could be a great opportunity for you to practice the ABC's in paradise with me ;)

Thanks for tuning in! Until next time,

Mallory Chapman